Life in Arizona-Pt I

I moved to AZ in February in the hopes of touching upon hope. I found some but maybe not in the way one anticipates. Here's one of many: as I reside in Phoenix, I hope I don't die. Horrid, yes! Realistic, well...yes. The people here are horrid...drivers!!!! As it turns out, heat makes people aggitated and therefore-----aggressive drivers and in turn, one may experience a high frequency of road rage. Not me.....I'm cool...I'm late - I did it to myself. Not these peeps - oh no --- it is someone else's issue. I'm visually hung and set on fire if I let someone in. If I don't know the road --- no sympathy anywhere except in Weber's Dictionary between "shit" and "syphillus." So, I learn to adapt until I see RAK - a Random Act of Kindness - usually from a transplant. Then, the act is pissed upon by someone who from a myriad of lanes decides they must cross w/o warning or a physical signal he/she is coming. The state signs should read: "WELCOME TO AZ: We don't use signals but one: pick a digit and drive dumba**!"

Am I being harsh? Possibly but until you are submersed in the culture, just cruise. The people themselves in Phoenix are awesome but give 'em keys and a destination - it's no bars held and they would gladly run over their g'ma or g'dad if it meant getting from point A to point B in Mock 5. Otherwise, the folks here are a likeable bunch. They don't dismiss transplants or visitors. The climate is "unforgiving" but only if one is a ridiculous buffoon and cannot conduct brief research on the area. Ultimately, much to see and experience. The cost of living is sorta high compared to what I'm accustomed but I'll adjust. My family will adjust too.

So, on that note, greeting from AZ and the hope I don't die pervade us all....

On the edge of "Where the Sidewalk Ends"

Yesterday, I read some poems from Shel Silverstein's "Light in the Attic" to my children. Here is one of my favorites:
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
I pray the Lord my toys to break
so none of the other kids can play with them

AMEN

Needless to say, my boys thought this was great! What a fantastic idea --- praying to stay ahead.
That seems to be my theme this year and that's okay with me for right now. I don't want to disadvantage anyone but at the same rate, I do not like being last, or next to last. I want a new adventure and I dare say, I want to jump before I look. So, if I truly am standing on the edge of where the sidewalk ends...I am not going back to my holding pattern and I'm gonna leap right in. After all, if there is no place to go but "up," then one better start climbing. And that would be me.

Magic 8 Ball

I love Magic 8 Ball! It comes in a variety of colors, shapes, and modes (like the Internet). I never was allowed to have one when I was little (too expensive or devil's tool - not sure which), so I used the neighbors'.

As a child, when I really want something in my life to happen, mischievous delight took over as I peered around and asked the desired inquiry. Next, I reveled in the fact that "YES, [put any boy's name here] likes me...but does he LOVE me? I'll ask again." Many an hour was wasted because I wanted either too much information or for it to change. But never did it thwart my appreciation for the little spirits controlling the answer cube.

My children, courtesy of my in-laws, have a magic 8 ball (they ain't scared o' Satan). In fact, it is an LSU one (Geaux Tigers). They never use it but I, I longingly love to sneek it from their shelf when they are out or sleeping and whisper my question into it. " 1) Will I survive my underemployment? 2) Do my kids really think I fell off the turnip truck? 3)Will I really go to hell if I hate someone? 4) Did my high school Catholic Youth Ed person realized he looked haneous in a big red G-String" My boys are out right now so let's see the answers in corresponding order:
1) Absolutely
2) Consult me later....(waiting 5 seconds)...the stars say no
3) Can't say now
4) The stars say no

How can you argue with that? Those are perfectly legitimate replies! But I have one more question: Am I ever gonna be financially ok?

Magic 8 Ball says: No doubt about it.

Yep, I love Magic 8 Ball! At worst, Magic 8 Ball gives hope without rhyme or reason, yet I think I rather have hope than think that [put any boy's name here] didn't like me or that I'll be broke as all-get-out forever.

It's vacation time with a dash of perspective!

Vacation time, oh vacation time! How I love you so! When life hands you lemons, screw it! Go on vacation and stick 'em inside your bra - couldn't hurt, might help make you more cheery!

You must be thinking..."what is up with her?!" Why, it's vacation time!

I have been unemployed with my MBA earned in early Spring and I have about bit through my lip trying to figure out how to support my family without living in a cardboard box and selling plasma. Then, I decided to hook up with the in-laws (although I am by far NOT their favorite person) simply because it removes me, temporarily, from my issues with sustainment. I will bake myself in Louisiana sun until my brain dribbles out my nose, eat unprocessed meat until I revert to a Neanderthal woman, and drink --- well, imbibe until my rose-colored glasses kick in. Why? Because I can and to gain some perspective.

Currently, my perspective is clouded. I'm putting my spouse through a doctoral program, my youngest offspring has dermatomyositis, my older son has not outgrown his space cadet years, and we live with my parents due to numerous kicks in the teeth from the powers that be. Sure, I run with it but stepping outside the situation and watching the transvestites in New Orleans (which incidentally make prettier women than some of the Victoria Secret models) shall make for a new light and path to travel. Eating alligator and creating new memories with my family (immediate and extended) should enlighten me towards how to tackle the beast.

Above all, vacation means one doesn't have to deal, at least for awhile. So, free yourself, even for an hour and get that dash of perspective!

The Most Important Lesson of My Life Is......

For some, money is everything. Others crave and covet love. Me? I don't know what I find more important than my spouse and children. I work to provide, I clean and formulate to protect (occasionally falling on my face more than not ;)) yet I think for me the lesson of patience holds the utmost.

Living in Naperville on and off for the last 34 years has taught me there are tons of self-serving individuals who think they are entitled. To what? Everything and anything. From getting to the front of the line in traffic (and continuing to wait like the rest of the commuters) to suing the buttons off another for merely a flesh wound, to employment for which they lack the credentials.

I too think I deserve a great profession, a beautiful home, a flashy vehicle and the like. But unlike my younger years, I have started to grow patient with time and process. Patience is what keeps stress in check and enables the universe to move full circle (FYI- I am not a New-Ager, yoga follower, etc. I just have moved forward with the simple concept "It is what it is.")

So I implore anyone who reads this --- we all have lessons to learn here but patience will make the small or large issues seem like cake and when all is said and done, you will feel better about the life you lived.

Strategy

Well, let's see...I was thinking about what I would write about, and after watching my acquaintance John in his self-built business and creating various To-Do Lists, I think STRATEGY is an important key for any business or personal sanity, for that matter.

Strategy has many forms: plan, ploy, etc. What it comes down to: if you don't have a purpose (besides making money), a map to get where you want to go and a back-up plan (just in case)....you might as well bend over backward and kiss your ass goodbye! John has a vision and an interchangeable strategy, so we'll see. Maybe if I can get him to stick to a structured system, he may fair very well.

Almost

I'm almost done with the big, bad MBA. Thank heaven! I'm in my last week and can hardly believe this little journey is almost over. I have an interview next week and just maybe God won't pee on me this time ;) But for the record, God has never urinated on me - just likes to watch me squirm and learn the valuable lesson of PATIENCE.